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monkeyThe place stank.

I mean really, seriously, it stank, it was like totally woooooahhhhthere. It stank like so much worse than how you would imagine a monkey’s cage to stink like after a hard day’s monkeying, which wasn’t at all crazy considering this was a monkey cage, and they had just had a particularly hard day of hardcore monkeyballbusting monkeying for the benefit of many many groups of schoolchildren.

Harry was a monkey by day and he was sick of it. Sure the monkeying was fun, the banter was good, the rope-swinging never got dull, and the fruit was first class, but there was only so much monkeying that could be accomplished before the smell really began to get on top of you, really get deep-rooted into your deep roots man you know.

‘Morning Harry, morning Hogie, morning Henry’ said Tarquin bringing in the next bucketload of fruit.

‘Oof, crikey’ Tarquin moaned ‘that Stink’ his eyes squinting ever more squintier, ‘it’s taking on a new life of its own that is, my god’ he said strapping on his mouth and nose cover, ‘what is in this fruit?’.

Henry & Hogie always pushed to the front to get the fruit as quick as they could, Harry never rushed, he know Tarquin sorted him the choice goods, he waited for the little door to open that Tarquin came through and let Henry & Hogie fight it out before he swaggered up to Tarquin for his share of the juicy jewels. Mango mango mango bit of papaya there, and then maybe a banana for dessert, top notch, Tarquers knew what he was doing.

‘Seeees ya tomorrow monkey men’ and like that, Tarqeurs was gone.

It was nearly 8pm, nearly time to make tracks. Harry was a monkey by day sure, but by night he was a local radio DJ, who just happened to live a double life, in the day as a monkey called Harry, and in the night as a human DJ called Dizzy D Nutz. Choosing the playlists was tricky there in the cage, but with the smell, normally by now Harry would’ve picked out some Prince tracks, maybe a Van Halen tune, but with the smell, ahhhhhhhhhhh the smell, this wasn’t normal, everything thought it was normal but no, this was something else, something had happened that no-one was looking into, this was bad, seriously. Harry had had enough, he couldn’t even do the playlists, the smell had taken on something too deep to go any further. DJing was similar to being a detective, well not really, but it was Friday, and on Fridays Harry felt that he could do no wrong. It was time for some serious investigation.

To be continued (maybe, ok, not really). Happy Friday, you know what to do, you’re already doing it, I love you, that is all.

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